It’s been a while, but I’m ready to say it now: When I was pregnant with Erin, I took Xanax weekly for my anxiety. Sometimes multiple times a week.
Before I got pregnant, though, I had made the decision that I would never take Xanax during pregnancy. It was super dangerous. I had been told by my psychiatrist that it could lead to numerous cognitive and heart defects, early labor and cleft palate. So I decided I was just going to have to suck it up and deal with my anxiety, untreated, however bad it would be – That was until I read an article from NPR that a recent study had found that Benzos were actually not as harmful as previously thought – they actually had NO impact on cognitive development, reduced the gestational period by an average of only 3 days, and only increased the risk of cleft palate from every 6 out of 10,000 babies to 7 out of 10,000 babies. Those were risks I was willing to take. I was elated. (And side note: new evidence has emerged that a mother’s stress can be harmful to a fetus; you could be putting your baby at greater risk by leaving anxiety untreated.)
When I saw my OB at 12 weeks with Erin, she asked if I had stopped taking Xanax after finding out I was pregnant. I told her no. She was pretty upset and prescribed me a “safer” anti-anxiety medication. Before I filled the prescription, I looked up its safety during pregnancy. It was listed as a class C, which means the effects had been shown to be adverse in animals, but enough pregnant women hadn’t taken it yet to show its effect on humans. No way was I taking that. I left the prescription unfilled.
At my next appointment, my OB asked if I had stopped taking the Xanax; I told her no and expressed my concern about the other drug she wanted me to switch to. She asked me the name of my psychiatrist so she could call her and cancel my refills. She was annoyed and told me that I was putting my child in unnecessary danger.
At the following appointment, she asked the same questions. She sent a nurse in to be good cop and get me to tell her the name of my psychiatrist. I firmly said that I would not be giving her that information; I had weighed the risks of taking Xanax during pregnancy and made my decision.
At 20 weeks, she confronted me during our appointment, increasingly upset at me, and accused me of not being a faithful Christian because I was lying to her. If I was really a Christian, I’d be honest with her, stop taking the medication and tell her who my psychiatrist was. She sent me home with some literature highlighting the dangers of Xanax during pregnancy. I don’t know if she didn’t think I knew how to read or what, but after every highlighted danger was a phrase she left unhighlighted that said “…However, these things have not been proven to be attributed to Benzos.” She tried to scare me into thinking I was going to deliver a stillborn baby because of my selfishness (completely unbacked by evidence) and even set up an appointment at a high risk OB’s office after convincing me that even though my ultrasound had come back completely normal, that it probably missed something, and there was something already wrong with my baby.
I knew there was something going on behind the scenes. How can a doctor who wouldn’t care if you got an abortion, care SO much about the health of a baby that you want to live? My suspicions were validated: apparently if a doctor can prove that they got —% of patients off controlled substances, their practices get an extra amount of money as a kickback.
That woman put a damper on so much of my pregnancy for her own gains. If I weren’t a Christian, I’d totally put her on blast and do everything I could to shut her down.
Hold your ground, pregnant moms, especially first-time moms. Do your own fact checking. Make your own decisions. Doctors don’t always have your best interests at heart.
And p.s. yes I did get a new OB. No way was I going to trust her to deliver Erin safely into the world.
Good for you. I have found that you need to be your own advocate. Praying for you.