Candid camera moment. You can judge however you want to.
When I was in high school, we had to do fundraising to earn money to go on our senior trip to Washington D.C. We did all the normal things: Krispy Kreme fundraisers, ordering food from catalogues etc. But the big thing with our school was selling See’s chocolate bars for $1. Each box you sold, you earned a cut to put toward your senior trip.
I knocked on doors and asked people if they’d like to buy a chocolate bar so I could earn money to go to Washington D.C. Everyone said no or just didn’t answer their doors. People will buy things from cute kindergarteners, but not 12th graders with acne. (I still have acne. I’m seriously convinced I’m going to have acne at 80 at my funeral.) Hardly anyone bought from me for days. I couldn’t even sell one box. And going door to door is an introvert’s worst nightmare. (Ask me how many times I went on neighborhood visitation at our fundamentalist church.) After several days and several neighborhoods, I sat myself down on the sidewalk outside someone’s house and just cried. I called my parents, and they picked me up. I was done. My dad paid for the whole trip. Maybe you think I should have stuck it out and dug deep and gotten creative on how to make money. Whatever. I don’t really care.
But that experience has stuck with me. As Nate and I raise money to move our family to Papua New Guinea to document an oral language in order to share the gospel for the first time and translate the Bible, I find myself feeling like the insecure 12th grader going door to door asking people to buy a chocolate bar. And I hate it. I hate that I feel like I’m asking for a handout. I hate that I feel anxiety asking people for their money, and I hate that I feel like that shy senior trying to earn money to visit Washington D.C.
This is the freaking GOSPEL. This is a command from Christ to go to the uttermost. This is a mandate that our family is picking up while basically no one else is. Did you know that statistics say you are more likely to die in a plane crash than to be a missionary to a truly unreached people group where the gospel has never been broadcast to a single soul?
Why do I feel like I’m selling chocolate or asking for a handout or pitching to a friend to get them involved in a pyramid scheme? This is the most worthwhile investment in the whole world. I want to be bold and excited and fearless.
Being a tribal missionary is going to be really hard, and I hate that this part is hard for me too.
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